I have always been sensitive to sound, having hyperacusis, and wanted to give SSP a go – a therapy that works with sound (pop songs from the 70s-80’s) that are filtered in such a way that the inner ear gets stimulated as well as the whole vagus nerve, in order to create a sense of trust and connection and maybe even heal trauma.
photo : made with love by @Nathalie Frennet
I know, it sounds huge. And it probably is. Especially for a person like me, who needed her ‘Boules Quiès’ (wax ear plugs) to sleep since age 8 or so. And who now has about 6 pairs of Loop earplugs. I’m hypersensitive to sound (among other things). I had worked a little with the Tomatis method for teaching languages, so I liked the thought of working on myself through sound.
I just finished the therapy, and I’ve been feeling awful. I ended up having all the possible side effects. I even started medication due to inexplicable high blood pressure. For about a month, I had no clue what was going on: not only have I been uncomfortable, I also have ringing and popping in my ears, a brutalized nervous system, a dripping nose, and hypertension. And my digestive system has been upset for about 2 months now.
I developed an aversion against the songs I ‘had to’ listen to. (Could this be because they triggered memories of a period that was particularly difficult for me?)
OK. Here we are: ‘I had to’. I am so strict with myself, not only when working ‘on myself’, but also at home, or in my job. I want to do everything so perfectly well, that I tend to go beyond my body’s boundaries. Also, my ‘alexithymia‘ (inability to identify feelings and put them in words) made that I did not stop when my body had enough, and I just went on a little bit longer. Pushing myself. Not trusting my sensations. Wanting to do well.
Due to a miscommunication, I ended up listening to the music a tad bit too loud, and my nervous system got overstimulated. Hence the terrible state I have been in for weeks now. I even had bouts of anger. They were probably necessary, but very painful. I’m sorry for the people who were involved.
So there. This therapy has given me the opposite of the desired result : I got out of it as a pill popping nervous wreck, not to mention the state of my more subtle energetic bodies. Oh, and by the way: the origin of my ailments being the vagus nerve, none of my usual remedies and self regulation tricks work…
After having added 1+1+1+1+1+1 and done some research, I found out about the possible side effects of the therapy – and when presented to them, the facilitator confirmed. This gave me hope, as my high BP worried me and got my spiralling into more tension.
So now: one month without listening to SSP (though I’m not sure I’ll ever finish the 2 remaining hours), and see if in that time my nervous system recovers.
I can do yoga (restorative yoga would be fantastic), and other soft and healing activities. And whatever gives me fun. No difficult extra tasks, no hard discussions. Just healing and soft fluffy experiences from now on.
**** Disclaimer : I am sure the therapy can be good when done correctly. I think you need to feel supported, with a therapist that gives you the feeling they are available – and maybe extra attentive if you are 1) hypersensitive and 2) have alexithymia or 3) simply neurodiverse as I am. I am sure it can work if there are no grey zones and the information is given and received clearly. In my experience it failed due to different reasons I described : misunderstanding, combined with alexithymia and wanting to do too good and most of all : doing it on my own.
I am not sharing any links to sites about SSP, you can find plenty of information online.
I do think it is important to share this. The therapy is quite powerful, even though it says it is non invasive. May my experience may help someone to not make the same mistakes.
Traumageek also made a blog article about the subject of SSP and mentioned my blog !
And finally: here’s a little video of a very simple 1 minute exercise I tried. I like it and am doing it regularly now.
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